Monday, January 19, 2015

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014) Review

I'll start off by saying, I went into this with zero expectations and the hope I would come out liking it. Transformers: Age of Extinction is truly a horrible movie. I almost can't even put into words how bad this film was and how much I hated it. The dialogue is horrendous; I was dumbfounded at what was coming out of these people's mouths. The script is embarrassingly bad. For example, "Put your hands on my stick; she's got the best hands in town." Believe it or not, that is actually a line in this movie. There is virtually no story. Why the hell is this movie almost 3 hours long? I cannot wrap my mind around that in the slightest bit. In what way, shape, or form does it make sense for a Transformers movie with no story to be just short of 3 hours in length? That's right, because it doesn't. It makes no sense at all.
I was expecting to be able to go in and turn my brain off and enjoy some mindless action, but I just couldn't because of how long the movie is. By the time it got to the main action sequences, I was already bored to death. Had this movie been an hour shorter, then sure maybe I would have been able to mildly enjoy it. This is just a flat out empty film.
There are only two positive things I can say about this "movie", 1. Shia LaBeouf isn't in it. 2. Some of the action sequences were actually well done, but those were far from and in-between.
In all honesty this is one of the worst theater experiences that I've ever had. I cringed in my seat for nearly 3 hours. When I walked out of the theater my friend said, "I know you hated it because you wouldn't sit still for the last hour." He was absolutely right.
Rating: 1/5

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